As a Clinical Psychologist and Accredited EMDR therapist, I specialise in trauma, perinatal mental health and relationship distress.
Perinatal Mental Health Support in Nottingham
Cope Psychology
When becoming a parent doesn't feel the way you expected
Pregnancy, birth and becoming a parent can be profound life transitions. While they can bring joy and connection, they can also involve uncertainty, anxiety, overwhelm and experiences that feel very different from what you expected.
You may be struggling during pregnancy, after your baby is born or in the early years of parenthood. Perhaps you're finding it difficult to understand why you're not enjoying this time, or you're feeling disconnected from yourself, your baby or those around you.
I'm Dr Kerry Cope, a Clinical Psychologist in Nottingham specialising in perinatal mental health. I offer compassionate, individualised support to help you make sense of what you're experiencing and find a way forward that feels right for you.
What can perinatal difficulties look like?
Perinatal mental health difficulties can take many forms. You may be experiencing:
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anxiety, panic or feeling constantly on edge
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low mood or depression
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frightening or unwanted thoughts
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difficulties bonding or feeling connected to your baby
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overwhelming feelings of responsibility or fear that something will happen to your baby
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loss of confidence in yourself as a parent
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feeling unlike yourself
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difficulties adjusting to changes in identity, relationships and everyday life
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the effects of a difficult or traumatic birth
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pregnancy or baby loss
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difficulties associated with fertility or becoming pregnant *
Sometimes these experiences overlap. You may be coping with several things at once, or struggling with something that doesn't fit neatly into a particular category.
Birth Trauma
Birth can be a profound and life-changing experience. For some people, however, it can also be frightening, overwhelming or traumatic. You may have experienced an emergency, felt that your life or your baby's life was at risk, or felt frightened, powerless or unheard during your birth.
Birth trauma isn't defined solely by what happened medically. Your emotional experience matters, too. Even if others viewed your birth as straightforward, you may have experienced it as deeply distressing. You don't need to justify how you feel or compare your experience with anyone else's.
How birth trauma can affect you
Following a traumatic birth, you may find yourself:
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Replaying memories of the birth or experiencing unwanted, intrusive thoughts.
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Feeling anxious, on edge or constantly alert to potential danger.
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Avoiding reminders of your birth or finding it difficult to talk about what happened.
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Experiencing guilt, shame, anger or a sense that you have somehow failed.
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Feeling disconnected from yourself, your baby or those around you.
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Struggling with sleep, intimacy or the transition into parenthood.
These responses can be confusing and distressing, particularly when you feel you should be enjoying life with your baby. You may also find that your experience of birth affects how you feel about a subsequent pregnancy or the possibility of having another child.
How therapy can help
Therapy offers a safe, compassionate space to explore what happened at your own pace, without feeling pressured to revisit anything before you're ready.
Together, we can work towards understanding your experience, processing difficult memories and reducing the distress they continue to cause. I draw on evidence-based approaches, including EMDR, which can help you process traumatic memories so they feel less overwhelming and more like something that happened in the past.
The aim isn't to minimise what you went through or tell you how you should feel. It's to help you make sense of your experience, feel more grounded in the present and move forward with greater confidence and self-compassion.
You deserve support with what happened to you, whatever your birth experience looked like.
The transition to parenthood
Becoming a parent can change far more than your daily routine.
It can affect your identity, confidence, relationships, expectations and sense of who you are. Sleep deprivation, changes in roles and responsibilities, feeding difficulties, returning to work and the constant demands of caring for a baby can all place additional pressure on individuals and relationships.
Sometimes difficulties that were already present can become more noticeable. At other times, the experience of becoming parents itself can create new challenges.
Therapy can provide space to make sense of these changes, understand what you are experiencing and find ways of responding that feel more manageable and compassionate.
When becoming parents affects your relationship
The transition to parenthood can affect both partners, even when only one person initially seeks help.
You may find yourselves arguing more often, struggling to communicate, feeling disconnected or experiencing differences in expectations about parenting, responsibilities or intimacy.
A difficult pregnancy, fertility journey, pregnancy or baby loss, traumatic birth or challenging early parenting experience can also affect a couple's relationship.
If your relationship is part of what you're struggling with, couples therapy can provide a space for both partners to understand the patterns you have become caught in and develop more helpful ways of responding to one another.
A compassionate, individualised approach
There is no single way that perinatal mental health difficulties look or feel.
As a Clinical Psychologist, I draw on evidence-based psychological approaches including EMDR, Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), adapting therapy according to your individual circumstances and goals.
As a trained Circle of Security Parenting facilitator, I can also draw on this approach to help you understand your child's emotional needs, strengthen your connection and develop greater confidence in your parenting.
Taking the first step
You don't need to be certain that you need therapy before getting in touch.
I offer a free, no-obligation 15-minute telephone or video consultation. We can briefly talk about what you've been experiencing and whether my experience and approach are likely to be a good fit for you.